Coaching MCL

Services de coaching professionnel avec Michel C. Lavoie, PCC

Archive for the ‘Change’ Category

Secrets to a fuller life through Professional Coaching

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You are happy and successful. But you want more in your life. You want better relationships, a more satisfying professional life, more money; you want to do what you really want with your life and more…

You would like to be able to leap out of bed each morning, attack the day with purpose and joy. You want more fun and pleasure. More fulfilment. In a nutshell, you want real and lasting change…this is going to require a whole new way of thinking and acting. As Napoleon Hill states in his book Think and Grow Rich, for any new result you aspire to, whether internal or external, there is a certain ‘way of thinking and acting’ that will get it for you. You just have to find it (easier done than you may think) and be willing to adopt it.

If you really want to improve things in your life, you have to be willing to change your way of thinking and acting. To get better results than you presently have, you may have to give up your old ways of thinking and acting and be willing to adopt a new one! Because if you keep doing what you are presently doing, you will continue to get the same results. People don’t realize that they are responsible for creating what they want in their lives. Our brains are powerful instruments. What you focus on…you create. “You are creating, right at this moment, what’s happening in your life!” This isn’t about blame. Nobody consciously creates a lousy life for themselves. But, what happens does come from inside of us. “Your own unconscious internal processes generate how you feel, how you behave, what things mean to you, what and who you attract and what you become attracted to.” (Bill Harris). The key is to become conscious, aware of what we are creating inside of ourselves that ends up manifesting outside of ourselves. Figure that out and you will gain full control of your life. Working with a professional certified life and business coach is an excellent way of finding out what you are dong inside that is creating your life. Then watch these internal processes until you figure out how you’re doing it. The coach can work with you to explore your beliefs, what is important to you (values), what you focus your attention on, and what meaning you place on things. There is a price to pay for all this of course…a true willingness to look at yourself in order to create a new awareness…That is the beginning of a process of transformation…the adventure is worth it! I promise.

Written by Michel

April 15th, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Goal setting: what all the experts seem to agree upon…

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A success formula!
1- Know where you are. Evaluate your circumstances honestly and become clear about exactly where you are. You can’t start a journey until you know where you are.

2- Know where you want to go. You have to know what you want. The more specific you are, the more you’ll know what to do, how to start, and how to know when you get there.

3- Take action. Even successful people didn’t always know what to do in the beginning. “The successful person doesn’t know what to do any more than you do, unless he or she is doing something for the second time. So, when you don’t know what to do, just DO SOMETHING! Just take the first step and then look around for more information that will indicate to you what the second step might be.

4- Evaluate the results of your action. Ask yourself: “How is my action working for me?” Check to see what has happened. If you made some progress, you might want to do some more of the same action. If not, you ask yourself how to improve the action in order to make it better.

5- Improve the action, based on the evaluation you just made. Then take action again. This idea of taking action is the key.Do something, no matter what it is. You learn a lot more from a incorrect action than you do from waiting until you think you have everything figured out. When you act, you find out what works and what doesn’t.

6- Keep repeating steps 3, 4, and 5, to continue acting, evaluating the results, and refining your action until you get to where you want to be.

Accomplish these actions and you’ll get what you want to attain in life.

Written by Michel

February 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

Posted in Change,English

What are you thinking about at this very moment?

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“You become what you think about whether you like it or not, so change the way that you think. One little thought can create a complete transformation”

Louise Hay

Written by Michel

December 12th, 2007 at 12:26 pm

Posted in Change,English

Thought of the week: What is your relationship with money?

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What is your relationship with money and prosperity? Is it healthy and positive?

Or, do you believe that most (all) wealthy people are crooks,dishonest and frauds? Is being rich and possessing much wealth and material goods have a positive or negative connotation for you?

Want to create wealth for yourself? This requires positive beliefs about possession and wealth. You need to become receptive and to open yourself to the possibility of wealth if that’s what you want. So, start by turning up your ‘wealth thermostat’. You’ll suddenly create new possibilities for yourself.
Change negative beliefs and inherited attitudes and begin turning your life around…unless you believe been poor and unsuccessful is a virtue.

Change just one belief and you can turn your life around!

Written by Michel

October 12th, 2007 at 5:26 pm

Leaving your comfort zone according to Fred Shoemaker

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“We live in a society in which the pursuit of comfort–and the avoidance of discomfort–is deemed a most valuable goal. But is comfort really what we want? One of the most meaningful things that my mother ever said to me was ‘I don’t want to be comfortable, I want to be fully alive.” She was seventy years old when she said that.

Comfort and complete aliveness don’t always go together. Learning and growth require a willingness to explore and take risks, which often leads to an initial feeling of discomfort and confusion. We are conditioned to label feelings of discomfort as undesirable, yet the best things in life always make us feel somewhat uncomfortable at first…a new relationship, a new job, a new child. Completely comfortable at the beginning? Of course not. By labeling these sensations as fearful and undesirable, we begin to narrow our lives. Fear limits our possibilities. The Art of the Possible consists of recognizing fear and not being stopped by it.”

from Extraordinary Golf, the art of the possible; Fred and Pete Shoemaker; 1996; ISBN. 0-399-52276-X

Written by Michel

June 27th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

Mastering your mind is the starting point…

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“Your mind, and what you do with it, is the starting point of everything you experience in your life. If you master your mind, you master your ability to create what you want.”

The 2 keys of how your mind works are: 1) awareness 2) knowing how to choose the most resourceful choice in all circumstances depending on what you want to accomplish.

The 4 elements which make up your internal map of reality and determine everything else: 1-what you feel and believe in each moment; 2-how you behave in each moment; 3-whom and what you attract; 4-whom and what you are attracted to. NB: these realities are mostly unconscious and run on autopilot most of the time. But individuals can learn to operate this internal map of reality consciously and intentionally. How? By committing to very carefully examining how you’re creating your life right now; and be willing and deciding to adopt a new and better way of creating it.

“Once you understand your script, you can ‘close the old show and put a new one on the road’ (Eric Berne). Scripts aren’t a choice until you understand them. Be in charge of your script and you become the master of your life.

Bill Harris

Centerpointe Newsletter Feb. 2007

Written by Michel

February 7th, 2007 at 7:12 pm

Posted in Change,English

YOUR INNER MAP OF REALITY

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We all create maps of reality as we grow up. These templates allow us to instantly process and categorize a steady steam of information that would be overwhelming if we didn’t have some way of understanding it quickly. Without maps, we would have to figure out how to open a door each time we came to one or relearn how to socialize every time we met a new person. The map also contains and organizes countless beliefs, values, generalizations, decisions, and other concepts that pertain to how you see yourself in relations to the rest of the world.

The internal map is a blueprint your mind uses to create your life. But, useful as it is, it doesn’t mean that it’s the best one you could have because some maps are built around pain and insecurity and desperate attempts to remain safe by avoiding change, following the rules, and other non-resourceful strategies. If as a child your learned that the world is a scary place, the central purpose of your map would be to keep you safe in order to survive.

The map is not the territory, it just represents the territory. It is a representation of reality. It is not reality. The map is not who you are; it’s just the tool you’re using at the time to conceptualize who you are. This is good news. It means you don’t have to be struck anymore in fear or depression. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MAP. But even if your map begins to fall apart because of various growth experiences, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE FALLING APART. It just means that your understanding of who you are and what your relationship is to the rest of the world is inadequate for dealing with your environment and is about to expand and change and that you are about to experience a growth spurt.

In transformational work, your internal map of reality will fall apart and re-form many times. Your map keeps changing as it becomes more resourceful and less dysfunctional. When this happens, you can try to save the old map by resisting the process or you can have faith that the process will yield a new map that will serve you better. If you let change happen without resistance, the process is not only painless, it is joyful.

Most people think their map of the world (the conceptual model of who they are and how you relate to the world) is WHO THEY ARE. That why they resist when the map begins to fall apart. It feels as if THEY ARE FALLING APART. However, the map is not the territory. And you are not your concept of who you are. Since you’re not the map, it’s usually no big deal if it falls apart; in fact, it’s a big improvement.

Once most of the old emotional baggage, rules, and non-resourceful ways of responding are handled, a new kind of expansion of the map begins. All kinds of connections begin to fill in blank parts of the map, linking everything in the universe to every other thing—connections you never thought existed and never saw before. The universe becomes one big organism, one that you are a part of and an expression of. Since nothing is really outside you, your fear, anxiety, and stress dissolve; because if it’s all you, there is nowhere to go, nothing to get, nothing to fear.

If your map of reality was created for you by outside forces and now simply runs automatically, creating an experience of life that seems like it is happening to you as a result of outside forces beyond your control, you have to decide if that is the life you want. If not, you might want to find a way to consciously create the map you do want—and, as a result, the life you want.

Conscious living means becoming INTENTIONAL rather than REACTIVE. As a Reactor, you can perpetually be in a state of fight or flight, or the captive of your passions. Some unknown person is flipping the switch of our unconscious self. Without intending to, we perpetuate destructive, dysfunctional cycles of behavior and belief.

The Witness is the opposite of the Reactor. He is at the other end of the spectrum. It is the part of us that observes what is happening, even as it happens. When you observe in this way, you feel as if you are standing outside yourself and observing how you’re feeling, what you are doing, and how you’re interacting with your environment. The Reactor is the agent of knee-jerk responses, but the Witness just watches. From your Reactor’s unconscious perspective, things look either good or bad, depending on the meaning you place on them. From your Witness’s perspective, everything looks neutral and interesting, so the Witness just watches with curiosity, without evaluating. The Witness knows that life is a game and that you’re making it up as you go along. To be really conscious, you have to come at life from a Witness’s perspective. Consider yourself an actor in a play who consciously chooses the meaning of the unfolding story line. In this actor role, you’re both author and Witness to what is happening. While you’re letting whatever happens be okay, you’re also noting the things you want to do differently. Since it is impossible to continue to create suffering consciously once you are conscious, these old ways of being are automatically replaced by new, resourceful ways of being.

How to be a Witness? REMIND YOURSELF MANY TIMES A DAY TO WATCH WHAT IS HAPPENING. NOTICE WHAT IS GOING ON. HOW DOES YOUR BODY FEEL? WHAT IS YOUR MIND DOING? WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU? DOES ANY OF THIS CHANGE AS YOU WATCH? It is a new perspective; one that isn’t caught up in whatever is going on.

Step back the next time you’re feeling any kind of discomfort and say to yourself, ‘There I am, feeling angry (or whatever).’ And just notice yourself being in that emotion. Notice where you feel it in your body. Notice whether it stays in one place or move around. Whether it stays the same or changes. Get out of wanting the feeling to go away, and get into being curious about whatever is happening. Notice how difficult it is to stay stuck in your suffering if a part of you is watching. IF YOU ARE CURIOUS AND WATCHING, IT ALSO BECOMES HARDER AND HARDER TO RESIST THE FLOW OF CHANGE. CURIOSITY IS THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE FENCE FROM RESISTANCE, AND WITHOUT RESISTANCE, THERE IS NO SUFFERING. So the antidote to resistance is simple: just watch! Whenever you notice discomfort, you know you’re resisting, and that becomes a signal to—just watch.

Expanding awareness: by expanding our awareness, a person can come to live consciously from moment to moment, and if we do so, we can’t help but be happy and peaceful. A sense of connection with the universe is a normal result of this state.

A summary: expanding your awareness

  • Realize that you are the creator of your own reality. You can make choices.
  • Your interpretation of reality is based upon an inner map; most elements of which you did not choose. You have the power to change your map if you want.
  • You can redraw your inner map to be more authentic, more resourceful and less limiting.
  • To the extent that you’re creating your map consciously rather than unconsciously, each new map will serve you better than the last.
  • You can learn to live consciously by calling on that part of you who is the Witness.
  • The more often you are the Witness, the less often you will be the Reactor.
  • Once you understand this process, you can welcome (and watch) change, rather than resisting it.

From: Thresholds of the mind, Bill Harris, 2002

Written by Michel

January 29th, 2007 at 10:04 am

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