“A therapist is like an archeologist who delves into the past to reveal wounds and facilitates healing. A consultant is more like a teacher, an expert in a specialized field one can seek out for advice while a coach is similar to an architect, called upon to examine and existing structure and to achieve improvements, congruent with future goals.” Julie Cusmariu, Life Coach.

A coach is really someone who “evokes excellence in another person.” The coach helps the client push back boundaries quicker and more effectively.  S/he is an agent of change who strives to empower his client and push him to his inner potential.

The coach considers his client to be well and whole as is. S/he isn’t there to try to fix something that is broken or imperfect. S/he doesn’t give counseling or advice. Rather, s/he is an agent who through questioning, listening, giving feedback and making requests for actions contributes to the emergence of what is already there. “Helping in uncover and to release the symphony which is already exists in the client.”

A life coach can work with his client in different areas: the physical, social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual (getting in touch with a deeper self). A coach will help his client to clarify values, a vision/mission so that he can then set goals aligned with this vision/mission. Finding an alignment of goals in sync with an individual’s values is extremely motivating and empowering.

Happy 2009! May you set and attain all your most important goals this year.

We all have an important choice to make, one that will make a huge difference in our lives: we can wait until things happen to us from the outside or we can decide to make things happen from the inside.

How? By making a decision to come from within with a clarity of purpose and vision. Be  proactive, creative and conscious or reactive and unconscious. We can play a game of wait and see or one of creative direction. Choose!

“ Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past.” (Anon)

Two weeks ago, I screened Bob Proctor’s latest message on goal setting. Based on Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich.  Proctor reminds us that there are 6 easy steps to getting what you want. I encourage my clients to do this. I works. I promise.
1. Decide what you want: materially, professionally,spiritually.
2. Write it down on a card  that you can easily carry around with you.
3. Read your goal(s) aloud to yourself morning and night.
4. Don’t simply ‘wish’ that your goal will be realized but ‘be ready to receive it’ i.e. believe with feeling and emotion that it will happen. Imagine it as already actualized. See it!
5. Visualize yourself having what you want and feeling how that makes you feel! Really get into it. The unconscious mind responds to feeling and emotion.
6. Keep your mind in this new ‘frequency’ (for lack of a better word) until what you want manifests itself.

Hill’s method works. I see the results. Check out the chapter on Desire in Think and Grow Rich for more information.

In my opinion, this is the best self-development book ever written!

Clearly networking is one of the major keys to business success. I encourage my business clients to create networking strategies to get their message ‘out there’. Here are a few ideas from Ivan Misner to create your future:

Week One: Set networking goals. These should be measurable, attainable and have a deadline. For example, “To meet at least 2 prospective clients each week.”

Week Two: Make time to network and block it off on your calendar. “To have an early breakfast meeting each Tuesday morning with a client.”

Week Three: Make a clear profile of your ‘ideal client’. Who is this person? What characteristics make him/her a perfect fit for your product or service? When you are able to describe the ‘ideal client’ to people in your environment, it will be easier for them to make referrals.

Week Four: Identify your team of ‘angels’. These are people who can help you find your ‘ideal clients’ and who will actively refer them to you eventually. It may be another client, an acquaintance, someone who admires you or who is a member of your club.

For more information, read: The 29% Solution; Ivan Misner. ISBN 978-1-929774-54-8

Therapist and English literature professor Dr. Allan Hunter uses the wisdom of over 3000 years of literature and myth as well as the findings of modern Psychology to explore the stories we need to understand in order to help identify which of 6 archetypes (The Innocent, The Orphan, The Pilgrim, The Warrior-Lover, The Monarch, The Magician) we are presently living. As well, he identifies the challenges we must to face in order to grow psychologically and spiritually to fulfill our human potential, and does so in a fascinating and coherent way based on over 30 years experience as a counselor and teacher.

Hunter has written a most valuable and practical book. It is truly eye-opening. I strongly recommend it. Findhorn Press. 2008. ISBN 978-1-84409-123-2.

« We live our ‘selves’ by our thought. If you want to enlarge your life, you must first enlarge your thought of it and of yourself. » Herman Hesse

I have been doing a lot of research lately for a book on coaching I want to write. I discover and re-discover the importance and key role of purpose in our lives. Purpose is what creates meaning in our lives and work. It is the reason we get up (or not) in the morning. It is about discovering our life’s calling or vocation. I spend a lot of time with my clients on this basic issue. For me, it is the foundation to everything else we do in life.

Recently, while reading a passage on purpose, I suddenly had a flash and remembered and understood why, at the age of 18 or so, the Jesuits at the college where I was studying invited our graduating class to a monastery for a 4 day ‘retreat’. What did we think about during those 4 days spent in silence? You’ve guessed it: discovering our ‘purpose’ in life. Our ‘life’s calling or vocation’. So, this purpose business isn’t exactly a new concept. However, in a world where we confuse ‘busyness’ and ‘activity’ with a more profound way of living, many people find themselves running around and being busy trying to survive and to find recognition for their worth.

To the question: why do we get up in the morning, we answer, lamely, to have more; to gain approval for our self-worth; to feel useful.

But what if finding one’s true purpose in life was the secret of satisfaction and happiness? What if aligning one’s goals (career, family, relationships, financial, personal development) with one’s values and purpose in life was the answer to all we wanted in life?

Living and working on purpose is the answer. What am I doing on earth? What am I here for? What am I supposed to create and leave as a legacy? Now, we are getting to the nitty-gritty beyond the busyness, the consumerism. By finding our true selves, our purpose or mission in life, all the rest becomes simple and deeply satisfying. The journey is worth it.

Do you sometimes find yourself thinking about your mortality?

I have a friend who says we walk around with an invisible bar code with an expiry date written on it.

We know we won’t live forever, but most of us want to stick around as long as we can. And apparently, every lifestyle choice we make affects our ‘expiration’ date: diet, exercise, stress levels, etc.
Last month, I mentioned some things we can do to promote our mental and physical health.

Here is another suggestion from Stanford University researchers who began studying runners in the 1980s. So much for our preconceived ideas about the negative effects of jogging. “Running and other weight-bearing exercises like vigorous walking and using an elliptical machine work to strengthen your bones, tendons and muscles. They also prevent heart disease.” (Dr. James Fries, author of the Stanford study). So let’s get walking and running!

Check out www.livingto100.com
to calculate your life expectancy

Answer these questions in 20 words or less. If you want feedback, send them to info@coachingmcl.com and I’ll send you references to reading materials.

1. If I can create a bigger purpose for my life now, what will it be?
2. What gives me meaning in life? How can I connect with my true self on a regular basis?
3. What time do I make JUST for me?
4. What can I do to create more balance?
5. How can I create more fun in my life?
6. Where am I playing too small in my life?
7. When is the last time I did something for the very FIRST time?
8. What is my vision for life? in my relationships, family, health, career, personal growth?
9. What is my ideal job and how close am I to doing this?
10. What is missing in my life right now and what do I want to create in 2009?

Using the science of positive psychology in the practice of coaching…

You may remember when, in a past newsletter, I expressed the importance of always “focusing on what you want and never on what you don’t want.” Well, there is a whole new area of science called positive psychology which is the study of what is right with individuals. It develops a rigorous study of complete mental health. In a nutshell, it is the study of the conditions and processes that contribute to happiness.
One of the main principles of this science is to  ‘reverse the focus’, i.e. to become aware of what we paying attention to and then choosing what we really want to focus on. The idea is that when an individual focuses on what he wants, this leads to increased well-being. Other aspects of positive psychology are learning to focus on one’s strengths; harnessing positive emotion, building hope, connecting with purpose and aligning values and vision. All these approaches are employed in the coaching process, explicitly or implicitly. For more insights into this exciting new science, may I recommend Martin Seligman’s book  “Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment” (2002).

“I do a lot of listening, ask a lot of questions and have the person figure out for themselves what they want and the plan of action that will help them get it. Mostly, professional coaching is about eliciting and empowering.”

Claudette Pelletier, professional coach

(Edmonton Journal)

You are happy and successful. But you want more in your life. You want better relationships, a more satisfying professional life, more money; you want to do what you really want with your life and more…

You would like to be able to leap out of bed each morning, attack the day with purpose and joy. You want more fun and pleasure. More fulfilment. In a nutshell, you want real and lasting change…this is going to require a whole new way of thinking and acting. As Napoleon Hill states in his book Think and Grow Rich, for any new result you aspire to, whether internal or external, there is a certain ‘way of thinking and acting’ that will get it for you. You just have to find it (easier done than you may think) and be willing to adopt it.

If you really want to improve things in your life, you have to be willing to change your way of thinking and acting. To get better results than you presently have, you may have to give up your old ways of thinking and acting and be willing to adopt a new one! Because if you keep doing what you are presently doing, you will continue to get the same results. People don’t realize that they are responsible for creating what they want in their lives. Our brains are powerful instruments. What you focus on…you create. “You are creating, right at this moment, what’s happening in your life!” This isn’t about blame. Nobody consciously creates a lousy life for themselves. But, what happens does come from inside of us. “Your own unconscious internal processes generate how you feel, how you behave, what things mean to you, what and who you attract and what you become attracted to.” (Bill Harris). The key is to become conscious, aware of what we are creating inside of ourselves that ends up manifesting outside of ourselves. Figure that out and you will gain full control of your life. Working with a professional certified life and business coach is an excellent way of finding out what you are dong inside that is creating your life. Then watch these internal processes until you figure out how you’re doing it. The coach can work with you to explore your beliefs, what is important to you (values), what you focus your attention on, and what meaning you place on things. There is a price to pay for all this of course…a true willingness to look at yourself in order to create a new awareness…That is the beginning of a process of transformation…the adventure is worth it! I promise.

I had the great pleasure and honor to attend the President’s Cup held in Montreal in September. What fun!

While watching these virtuoso players in action, I wondered about their talent and amazing performances.

A question:

What is the difference between an amateur and a professional golfer?

The answer:

Tiger Woods and Mike Weir both have… coaches!! They always have.
And 99% of the amateurs, don’t….

That’s the difference. You have tremendous inborn talents and aptitudes…and with a coach working with you, you can perform and accomplish just about anything you set your mind to. You can really maximize your potential. A coach is trained to see what is missing for the client to excel. Try it!
Become a professional… of your life…Get a coach.

Patrick Williams in summer 2007 Vol 5 Number 2 of CHOICE magazine discusses the importance of exploring a client’s life purpose. Jung was the first psychologist to note that most humans begin to search for spiritual meaning after age 40 and “they heed the callings for some shift in discovering and then living their life purpose.”

The key for the coach and client, then, is to explore life purpose to get more clarity about his unique calling for his life, then make decisions and choices which are aligned and fit that new understanding about his life.This approach is often called ontological coaching.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Chinese proverb

ps: Working with a coach is a good way to take that first step!

“Right now, as for most people, you are creating whatever you are creating based on a whole bunch of unconscious stuff that is operating automatically–much of that is giving you an experience of life that you don’t like–so if you get aware of that stuff, you can create something different–and once you’ve done that, watch that creation and realize the power you have over your life.”

Inspired by talks given by Bill Harris in 2003

What you focus on is what you get. So, if you want something different, focus on something different.

Here are some actions you can take to help you focus on what you want:
begin meditating and visualizing– create a collage with pictures of things you want– write a script and create your happy ending– create a storyboard– ask and delegate actions to your subconscious mind–and, to get what you want more rapidly and more efficiently, work with a professional accredited life or business coach.