Coaching MCL

Services de coaching professionnel avec Michel C. Lavoie, PCC

Aligner nos valeurs avec nos comportements

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Un coach se plaît à répéter (aussi souvent que possible!) que nos valeurs sont à la source de notre motivation. Si une chose a de la valeur pour nous, elle devient une source de motivation. Si elle n’en a pas, elle ne nous motive tout simplement pas. C’est logique! Si le temps que nous passons à ce qui nous importe (carrière, relations, croissance personnelle) n’est pas en harmonie – consciemment ou inconsciemment – avec la hiérarchie de nos valeurs, alors nous sentirons toujours une certaine frustration ou insatisfaction.

Written by Michel

January 12th, 2017 at 4:36 pm

Dire oui à ses rêves!

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Nos croyances déterminent nos comportements et ce que nous décidons d’entreprendre – ou d’éviter. Les croyances positives peuvent nous motiver à nous dépasser, alors que les pensées négatives ou limitatives peuvent nous paralyser. C’est ce qui se passe souvent chez un individu. Il est parfois plus facile de continuer à croire qu’il est nul pour réussir certaines choses que de se risquer hors de sa zone de confort et dire oui à l’emploi de ses rêves.

Written by Michel

October 21st, 2016 at 9:41 am

Posted in Croyances,Français

Becoming more aware…

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ICF Blog May 20/16

As coaches, we all have certain competencies that are of significant importance to us. One of my favorites is from ICF Core Competency 8: “The coach helps clients to discover for themselves the new thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, emotions, moods, etc. that strengthen their ability to take action and achieve what is important to them.” (emphasis mine)

What I have learned is that this essential competency is even more important for coaches.

We want our clients “to discover for themselves…” In other words, we want them to become “aware of.” Awareness is powerful. It is an ability to observe how we think, believe and act—and then to see (or be aware of) the consequences of these thoughts, beliefs and actions as they happen. In real time. It is a practice of slowing down our thoughts long enough to experience them from a different point of view, almost as if we are watching ourselves as we react in the moment. With this new perspective, we begin to notice, in order to discover what is stopping us from moving forward, what is getting in the way.

Working with the coach, the client will be asked such powerful questions as: “What comes up for you when you consider asking your boss for a raise?” “What obstacle(s) are you facing?” and “What are your options?” Answers to this kind of question create a new awareness. As a result, clients begin to break away from the restrictions of their habitual thoughts, feelings and emotional patterns. Coaches encourage their clients to use this new discovery, this new “consciousness,” to create fresh pathways forward. Awareness creates choices and change. It allows the client to work on removing obstacles to their success.

But what of the coach’s capacity for awareness?

Over the past few years, it has become increasingly apparent that the coaching relationship is not only about increasing awareness in the client or helping them “discover for themselves” new thoughts and perceptions. It is about how we, as coaches, must devote a considerable effort to increasing our own self-awareness, our own discoveries about ourselves. We need to work constantly on creating a greater consciousness of what is going on with us during the coaching process. Just as the coach may ask the client questions that lead to liberating discoveries, the coach may also ask themselves: What is this stumbling block I encounter each time I have a client with this same issue? What will help me communicate more clearly with my client? What is it about my coaching style that I can improve in order to avoid hitting this same wall?

Case in point: one of the hurdles to increasing our self-awareness is our ego. In fact, coach supervisors and mentors often notice that one of the significant obstacles faced by new coaches is just that: ego. The self-talk begins. Am I good enough? Does the client like me? The ego needs to know if the clients are impressed with the coach’s skills or if they think the coach is attractive, intelligent or talented. Ego may feed off potential insecurities of an inexperienced coach as they start their career. It can sneak up on us when we are not looking!

But, as we know, the ego can only survive in the past (nourishing our worries, regrets, guilt, blame) or the future (creating expectations, anxiety) as it distracts us from the “now”—where awareness thrives. We must ask ourselves: Am I truly centered on my client and not on myself?

Being aware and in the moment allows us to avoid the ego’s distractions and remain focused on what is happening with the client. It is the client’s agenda that is front and center, and not the coach’s thoughts about what is best for the client. We are fully present, allowing the other person to just be who they are. Our own thoughts, emotions and beliefs are brushed away as is the ego’s need to criticize or judge, abandoning ourselves to what is happening. This is a pure example of “letting whatever happens be OK.”

Along with powerful questions, a supervisor or mentor coach may decide to suggest techniques such as mindfulness, meditation or yoga to new coaches. These resources are powerful ways to improve their capacity to be fully present, to get beyond the ego’s interference.

The opportunities to grow as a coach are endless if we are open to ourselves, our clients and the potential of an ever-increasing effectiveness as professionals. Be continually open to “the new thoughts, beliefs, perceptions” that will become a permanent item on the coach’s self-awareness or AQ checklist.

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Michel Lavoie, PCC (ICF Quebec Chapter), has a post-graduate degree in Communications, an M.A. in Philosophy, and an M.A. in Educational Psychology. He became a personal coach in 2003 after a distinguished career in public broadcasting in Canada. Michel has trained coaches at Coaching de Gestion Inc. and mentors graduating students in the Coaching Program at Concordia University, Montréal. He recently published a book on self-coaching, Coaching Unleashed. For more information, please visit www.coachingmcl.com

Written by Michel

June 10th, 2016 at 10:12 am

Coaching Unleashed!

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Early feedback from readers!

It seems that our readers are appreciating the fact that the book is accessible and easy to read. Moka the dog breaks down any possible barrier between the content and the reader. A special kind of relationship emerges. Furthermore,there are many case studies which help to clearly illustrate the principal life lessons contained in the book. The author aimed at creating a playful and engaging narrative. Readers seem to appreciate this!

Written by Michel

March 8th, 2016 at 11:13 am

Thought for the week

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A coach wants you to succeed and will do what it takes to help you to get started on the journey!

Written by Michel

November 7th, 2015 at 11:12 am

Posted in English

Thought for the week

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Some fears and insecurities which stop us from moving forward towards our goals?

Fear of failure for one: if we don’t attempt anything, we can’t fail. But we can’t succeed either. I have heard the coach ask his clients to do something which may lead to failure. Letting oneself fail is a good way of learning and growing – and reducing the fear!
Fear of embarrassment, of looking incompetent: Is it about how others see us or being on track with what we want?
Fear of success: Perhaps we feel secretly that our goals are loaded with new responsibilities and that success will bring new stresses or will take us to a level where we do not feel competent.
Fear of the unknown. Clarifying just what this means often takes the punch out of the fear. There is no more bogeyman under the bed! (Phew!)

Written by Michel

March 13th, 2015 at 1:30 pm

To create happiness, tap into the pathways of happiness…

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Psychologists have identified 3 pathways to happiness: pleasure, engagement (commitment), and meaning.
Research shows engaged people are good for organizations. They are more creative, produce better results and motivate others. They are willing to go the extra mile.
Happiness is good for organizations and business!
Kate Michaels in Choice Magazine–vol 11, #4 -2014– quoting the Harvard Business Review.

Written by Michel

January 16th, 2014 at 9:26 am

Une formule facile de coach…

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E+R=RÉSULTATS
petite formule de coach facile à utiliser…

C’est Socrate, le grand-père du coaching, qui avait dit : « Connais-toi même, car une vie sans examen ne vaut pas la peine d’être vécue. » Et Carl Yung d’ajouter… « Celui qui cherche à l’extérieur rêve, celui qui regarde à l’intérieur s’éveille. »

Oui, la connaissance de soi est la base pour entreprendre toute transformation sur le plan personnel. Un coach sait que l’élargissement de la conscience de son client est la voie royale qui le conduira à dépasser ses propres limites. Ce processus est au centre de tout coaching réussi.

Avec son coach, le client vient à voir ses angles mort. Les croyances, les valeurs, les filtres, conditionnements et habitudes qui l’empêchent d’avancer comme il le souhaiterait. Il vient à comprendre de l’intérieur ce qui manque chez lui pour réussir pleinement sa vie. Avec une perception de lui-même améliorée, le client peut mieux apprécier ses forces, ses aspirations, la façon qu’il perçoit son environnement et la façon qu’il interagit avec les autres, sa famille, ses collègues au travail.

Le corollaire à tout cela? Il apparaît un sens accru de responsabilité chez le client. Le coaché vient à comprendre qu’une seule personne est responsable pour la qualité de sa vie : lui-même. Ça veut dire prendre la responsabilité de 100% pour tout ce qu’il éprouve dans sa vie. C’est-à-dire le niveau des réalisations, les résultats produits, la qualité des relations, la santé physique même! On vient à voit qu’on ne peut plus blâmer les circonstances, les autres, ses parents, le thème astrologique (sic), la conjointe, le chien familial pour sa situation. Prendre 100% de responsabilité signifie qu’on vient à comprendre qu’on crée à peu près tout ce qui nous arrive. C’est renoncer au rôle de victime, on cesse de blâmer les circonstances. Comment?

E+R=Ré (événement+réponse=résultat)

Voilà, la formule 100% de responsabilité. On la doit à Jack Canfield dans son livre Principles of Success. Il affirme que chaque résultat que nous rencontrons dans la vie (le succès, l’échec, la richesse, la pauvreté, la joie ou la frustration) est le résultat de la façon dont nous avons répondu à un événement antérieur ou actuel dans notre vie. Donc, il affirme que si nous n’aimons pas les résultats que nous recevons actuellement, nous avons deux choix :

1) Nous pouvons blâmer l’événement (E) pour notre manque de résultat (Ré). Nous pouvons blâmer les événements extérieurs, les circonstances pour tout ce qui nous arrive. Il y aura toujours une excuse pour tout.
2) Mais, nous pouvons plutôt tout simplement changer nos réponses (R) face aux événements (E) jusqu’à ce que nous obtenions les résultats (Ré) que nous souhaitons. En d’autres termes, nous pouvons transformer notre façon de penser, de communiquer, de réagir, de faire les choses. C’est cesser d’opérer en « mode pilote automatique » et selon nos vieux conditionnements. C’est élever son niveau de conscience, C’est reprendre le contrôle de nos pensées, de nos croyances, de nos comportements, de notre façon de prendre nos décisions. C’est, somme tout, de vivre d’une façon plus consciente, plus intentionnelle, comme le suggérait Socrate. Devenir plus ‘attentif’…

« Si vous continuez à faire la même chose, vous obtiendrez toujours les mêmes résultats »

Donc, si nous n’aimons pas nos résultats, modifions nos réponses aux événements. S’il est vrai que nous avons le contrôle sur 3 choses dans nos vies : nos pensées, les images que nous visualisons et les actions que nous prenons (comportements). C’est la façon dont nous utiliserons ces 3 réalités qui déterminera tout ce qui nous arrivera, les résultats que nous produisons dans notre vie. Par exemple, transformer des croyances négatives en pensées habilitantes, changer d’habitudes, varier les lectures, changer son cercle d’amis…

C’est vrai, si nous voulons de nouveaux résultats, il faut commencer à faire les choses d’une nouvelle façon…

Written by Michel

December 17th, 2013 at 2:24 pm

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